I have an infinity-themed friend tattoo with my best friends named Kassu and Lappu. We think friendship is eternal and hopefully, and I believe so, we will remain as friends forever. The idea of getting tattoos together is based on the time before when loved ones took tattoos so they could find each other again in the afterlife. And we are all rainbow people with full of sin so… (laughs) so we find each other in the middle of hellfires when the time comes.

We each have our own, styled infinity themed tattoos. I have the tribal styled tattoo because I’m such a man (laughter), so much testosterone. And Lappu is such a funny and goofy mate that she have hands and fingers forming an infinity eight. And Kassu has an anchor where two ropes go in the middle, also meaning that we always get dragged by Kassu haha. We are always on each other’s skin.

The tattoo I have on my shoulder could be perhaps the most beloved, perhaps not the most relevant, but I think my finest tattoo to this date. Princess Leia is a reflection of that I like all nerdy things because I am a terrible nerd. But also because she is so good example of a strong female character in Star Wars. It also reflects how much I have strong women in my life. Like my mom and my sisters. I’m also happy it’s kind of memorial tattoo for Carrie Fisher, who unfortunately died last December (2016). It’s a great way to remember so great actor and personality by taking a picture of her to the skin. Even though this is not a direct picture of her, though. It’s done by Jelencsik “Jelo” Gábor in Hungary. Jelo has a cartoony art style which is why I’m really glad that I accidentally ended up to get the tattoo from him. This describes me well as a geek.

Princess Leia

Then there is this wolf. It’s my first tattoo, I do not remember what age I was when I took it, maybe when I was nineteen. The wolf is my totem/spirit animal. This also has special meaning because it has hidden initials of my sisters, with whom I’ve spent a lot of time in life and they are very dear and important people for me. I wanted them to be included in the wolf because without my siblings I would be more lonely than the wolf without the pack. And it roars because even though sometimes I howl for the moon, I’m never alone because of my sisters.

Home is where the Hearthstone is – tattoo. It’s dedicated to my favourite video game ever, World of Warcraft. In the game when you have Hearthstone, you always get back home. So in a way, I’m always home. Even though I still do not know exactly what my hearthstone is, but on the other hand, at this moment I can say that it is (my dog) Amos. When I have Amos then I know that I’m at home wherever I am.

Home is where the hearthstone is

I can already tell you about what tattoos I’m taking later this year, to my fists: Darth Vader and Stormtrooper.

Darth Vader is so amazing character what represents how anyone can turn to be bad. Because of love, or for some other reason like liquor, drugs, something like this what triggers something dramatic in person and somehow they turn to the dark side. Mental health problems, all like this. It is somehow so amazing how George Lucas has came up with a character like Vader. It represents the two sides of man, we all have that, it is again your choice of which one you give the power. Darth Vader also because it describes somehow this process of my life, that I was not happy with my way before. I kind of accepted that I was transgendered. In a way, I could say that I was inverted, Darth Vader. Before I was gloomy, bad person in a way but after I dared to admit to myself that I am really transgender, I kind of transformed to be Anakin. I started to live on the bright side because the bad feeling inside me started to fade. Stormtrooper I want because it’s so cool (laughter). And it’s a bit like no Vader without Stormtroopers and vice versa. It is also known legend that Stormtroopers are bad at shooting targets, so it kind of represents me too in life haha.

Star Wars movies are so great and it always excites me how something like these stories can affect so much to somebody. I also like to have Darth Vader to my right fist because it’s my stronger fist haha. If sometimes there are situations in work, Vader will fix it!

I also have one tattoo idea, wonderful picture from a comic book called Vader’s Little Princess by Jeffrey Brown. When I have a child someday, a daughter hopefully, I would be the Darth Vader one and my daughter would be like little Princess Leia. I love this picture, how it’s drawn and because it’s so sympathetic, I could imagine our relationship would be exactly like this haha.

Vader's Little Princess by Jeffrey Brown

Vader’s Little Princess by Jeffrey Brown

How I kind of realised I am a transgender, a man, begins with one special night with my friend Kassu, who I mentioned before. I have always thought about the possibility I’m maybe a transgender but I kind of settled in to be “just” a lesbian. I thought I don’t want to go trough all the hassle, so many problems, and difficulties. But then one night, I think we weren’t even drunk, Kassu suddenly says out loud: haven’t I really thought about the possibility that maybe I’m trans, maybe I should actually start the process? I just answered I don’t know. Somehow that night began to haunt me, and everything we were talking repeated in my head.

Then one evening I just collapsed to my girlfriend then, I cried and noted that now I realise who I really am. I don’t even remember what I told her. She said the same, she had thought maybe I’m a man and somehow after that, I got the courage to admit the whole thing. It was like a sudden click, this is it, I knew who I really am. I prefer myself as a binary man than a transman.

Tattoos are my force, I’m one with the force and force is with me!




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